Surrounded by Death

The past month seems like it's been nothing but doom and gloom. Well, that may be a slight exaggeration, but not by much. First my favorite resident that I care for passed away, she was by far one of the nicest people I have ever met. I wasn't expecting it either. She seemed to be in better health than all of my other residents. She even still had her car and she and one of my other residents used to love to go out shopping or to dinner, just stuff like that. She always reminded my of old time hollywood. You know, back when hollywood stars were glamorous. Her hair was always perfect, you never seen her without her makeup, and she always dressed classy. For a woman in her 80's, she was beautiful and she had a personality to match. Suddenly, everything just gave out on her all at once and that was it, she was gone. Then a few weeks ago, a former resident of mine, whos family had taken her out of our assisted living to another place a few months back died. Again another trip to the funeral home. Another time meeting up with family members that I had gotten to know while caring for their mother. And then this past weekend on Sunday while I was at work, I had to send the resident that had moved in to the room of the former resident to the emergency room. His symtoms were stroke like. Then Sunday evening, my son calls to tell me that his wife's grandmother passed away and I had to go over to watch the kids so he could go be with her (she was with her grandma when she passed at her home). With all this stuff happening in such a short period of time, I'm beginning to scared to wake up each day for fear of what will happen next. I've got to go back to work tomorrow after being off for the past two days and I'm afraid of what I'll find when I get there. I don't know if it's the winter weather, or the fact that my life has been surrounded by death but my thoughts are consumed with the saddness of these recent events. It's so depressing. I hope things start to get better soon.